RHUM

I never went to Uni. Did a theatre course at TAFE years ago, but we were in the dodgy half of a very small campus. Other schools had O-week, we had Oh-afternoon. And the only reason anyone in my course even knew about Oh-afternoon was that I was booked to perform at it by chance. Performing arts students and faculty got told about nothing that the student union was organising, especially if it involved free or very cheap food. Selfish cunts.

Anyway, when my sister went back to Melbourne Uni this week to study for her Masters and found herself with a four hour gap between classes, I went to hang out with her.

Melbourne Uni is a frightening rabbit warren. Easy to get lost going figuring out which cafe serves the good coffee, the cheap coffee, which one doesn't charge extra for upping your latte strength? Too many cafes. And too many Uni students with seemingly very little to do. I asked my sister Are there actually courses in lolling, preening and picking up, now? Apparently everyone at Melbourne Uni has these stupid four hour breaks between lectures, hence the napping and the poncing.

Eventually my sister went back to her class, so I took the opportunity to drink more coffee. And perv on cute undergrads.

As I was sitting, I started to toy with the idea of applying to study. Given my history as a writer I might even get to skim first year. But what would a degree in Lit. or Creative Writing achieve, aside from qualifying me to do further study to become a lecturer in Lit. or Creative Writing? And would that be so bad?

I am arrogant in one area of my life. Arrogant enough to not think I need anyone to teach me how to write or decipher written texts. Could I handle three years of just that?

On the up-side, it would certainly give my life some much needed structure. Hell, it might even turn out to be fun. Not like I'll ever earn enough to have to pay back the HECS. Maybe I could do a totally different course, not writing at all . . . I guess the point is not shutting off possibilities. I have potentially many more years on this planet and would hate to finish them with regrets.

Plus I really do love coffee, beer and perving on cute undergrads.